Get Started!

The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps - we must step up the stairs.

Those who have watched their kids on their first walk will understand. I remember very well the first time my son stood up and moved his foot. Of course he immediately fell, but how quickly he stood up again and tried was a marvel to watch. You could see the excitement on his eyes and feel the determination. All he needed to do was START and I guess we can now talk of miracles if need be. He started and there was no turning back. One foot after the other, falling, standing up, one, two, down, up, one, two, three, yeah! hardwork nana, keep the momentum and Bingo!

The most difficult thing in life is getting started. Many of us do not reach our goals and don`t realize our dreams because we just cant START. You fail to start and eventually you give up on your dream. 

You find this lady you truly love and you wish you could ask her out but you get too scared, what if she say No, what if she doesn't respond as I want. These questions overpower the what if she say YES question and you end up giving up the chase. Then you keep regretting, but you didn't try, you couldn't START the process. 

You have this burning desire to start a business, the idea is great and you are excited about it. A few months later someone else has started the same idea and doing a wonderful job. That`s exactly how you pictured it, and yes you once explained it to them, but you didn't START, no one stole your idea but someone implemented what you couldn't start for so many months. yeah! such is life.

There is a call that PRDP's (whatever that is!) are free and everyone is rushing to the opportunity, well not me, I will wait until everything settles down. By the time everything settles down rules have changed, prices have gone up, you cant do it anymore and you beat yourself up, but you didn't start, you couldn't do it when you needed to. (just saying anyway, not sure this example is relevant). maybe the Gaborone North plots 20 years back would have been a better example.

The bottom line is don`t expect miracles out of nothing. We expect a miracle to happen to someone in Gaborone who went to a tap, turned it on, no water but wait in hope that water will come out, but we cant expect the same to happen to someone lying on a sofa, updating Facebook status "No water here". Make an effort if you want to achieve anything in life. 

Life is exciting once you realize what you can do and how much you can change on this earth. I have this believe that spontaneous people enjoy life. These are people with no boundaries, people who are still kids at heart. And you will find that they are always happy, not because they don`t go through tribulations and heartbreak but because they see beyond the pain. They understand that nothing stays forever and life is all about getting through to the other end. Keep moving forward no matter what.

Life without a Father! (daughter`s perspective)

I have no idea which one is more painful or pleasant, No Mother or No Father. I thank God for both my parents but mostly my mother. Asking me “How does it feel like to have No Father?” will be like asking me “How is it in Heaven?” We all want to go to Heaven and at the same time we are afraid to die. That’s because it’s only a place we can envision from what is said about it or from what the Bible tell us but it’s difficult to put an emotion to it. We are not even sure we would like the place even though we are promised milk and honey. The only experience we have is earth and whether it’s good or bad we don’t want to leave, it’s all we have.

Like I explained above its difficult for me to attach any feeling on whether I wish my father was present on my life or Not. It’s that part of my life that never existed and obviously I don’t see how I could miss it. I have never seen him or his family so I can’t even imagine where I got my looks, traits and talents. It’s even difficult to know whether what I am feeling is good or bad. Growing up in an extended family made it difficult to notice that there is a part of me missing. I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out had he been part of it, and it’s not something that comes to my mind. As much as I believe that the absence of one parent affects the child, it’s always difficult to put a measure of to what extent, whether positive or negative and I wouldn’t even try to go there.

Some things I learnt and will cherish to my grave that the absence of my father taught me are;

• Self-love;  don’t expect anyone to love or care for you more than yourself, don’t blame yourself or make excuses for someone who doesn’t know your worth. It starts with accepting yourself and being content with who you are (your flaws, mistakes, imperfections make you who you are). Keep on getting better.
• Self-dependence; Not everyone will be there for you all the time. Prepare yourself to be abandoned by the ones you trusted the most. You are all you have and you can do bad or good all by yourself. Be grateful for those who stick around but know that, it’s not forever.
• Forgiveness; Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.
• Don’t judge before you know the truth; not everything is as we see or hear about it. You have no idea of the pain behind that smile or the happiness behind that cry. There is always a deeper reason as to why we behave the way we do than it meets the eye. Never try to find faults in other people before you notice yours.

When something unfortunate happens in your life, it doesn’t change who you are. Don’t put a label on yourself in search of pity. Don’t blame yourself or anyone because you still have your own mistakes and choices to make and you wouldn’t want to be blamed. Being raised by one parent doesn’t make you any different from the child raised by both parents. We are all presented with equal opportunities in life and it’s up to us to live the life we want. Don’t make your kids despise one of the parent because of the decisions made. You are enough for that kid until they realize they have to fend for themselves.

 Be a better person and face your fears and conquer whatever life throws at you. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, be determined to change the status quo. Let all the challenges you go through be a motivation to be a better person and to excel. Concentrate your energy into being the best you can instead of being revengeful. 

Just for Laughs (Part 2)..4 jokes that cracks me up every time…

This one ain`t a joke, my cousin was so naughty, (he still is) to a point that it became so annoying. He was 2+ years old at the time and was still learning some words and what they meant. They taught him to answer to any question that started with “Ke mang yo o….?”, “Who did this?” with “Ke nna!”, “Its me.” He would run to the person asking and start shaking them to get the attention, shouting “Ke nna!”He used to get all the beating and what used to kill me with laughter was the expression on his face, going from excitement to sorrow and the fact that he didn't know what he did wrong. Little did we know that we were turning him into a young brilliant liar. Nowadays if you ask him, “How are you?”, he will quickly say “Its not me!”.

And this story my cousin and I laugh about every day. Her cousin was attacked by a thief and demanded for the wallet and cell phone holding a stone on his hand. The cousin was brave enough, and that’s the reason I love English Medium schools as we call them. They teach kids to be brave and to stand up for themselves. He stood there tapping his fingers asking, “So what are you gonna do?” (with that English Medium tone and confidence). My guess is the thief`s response was “I can show you better than I can tell you!” The thief griped him by the neck, held him close and start beating him on the head with the stone clenched to his hand. He took his wallet and the phone and walked away. Moral of the story: You don’t question our traditional thieves because they get so annoyed especially if you try to intimidate them with the Queen`s language. Just give them their belongings and walk away unharmed.

God forgive me for this one but I just can`t resist it. Accidents are awful and there is nothing funny about them. I find this joke funny because I am definitely sure it never happened. It’s a well-known joke but I find it funny every time I hear it. The accident where one`s lips were cut from the mouth and his teeth left outside (smiling type of way). I can imagine how people got pissed by seeing him “smiling” when other people were hurting. “Sir, can you please stop laughing, if you are not going to help us, at least move away from here”.. And the hurting guy trying to explain that he is not smiling…lol.  Anyway these things happen and life goes on. I guess the moral of the story here is Don’t judge a book by its cover (hope i used it correctly)

The last joke: there is always one person in our circles who is just naturally funny. The kind of person you try to avoid when you are in public because you would not want to embarrass yourself. You will laugh until you see your tears running down your legs… And to me they don’t even have to say anything, I start laughing the moment they try to open their mouth to say something. I know for sure whats going to come out of their mouth is funny so I don’t even have to wait to hear what they are going to say. I don’t waste my time. One day you will experience such and you will understand what I am talking about.

And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything else, when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh. — Art Linkletter

Do you stand out? (What brand are you?)

 When you know what you want in life and you are willing to work hard to achieve that then you can`t live a free life as you wish. You just can’t, period!

The way you talk, walk, eat, laugh, sneeze, sing, smile, dress,  greet other people, respond to conversations are determined by what you want to achieve, they don’t just happen haphazardly. In our everyday life we are working on creating a brand that can stand out, a brand that we are comfortable in and it starts with knowing what you want and knowing your worth. There is nothing like a bad brand but rather we associate ourselves with different brands due to our different tastes. It’s funny how brands that we don’t associate with always stand out and we are able to recognize but we find it hard to recognize those we think are good for us. A bully who terrorizes the whole village will be known by all and recognized but that faithful woman who takes care of her family won`t be recognized, who cares anyway!

Don’t you think those two people have put equal efforts on creating those brands, for it takes determination, handwork, and persistence to become what you really want to be? Someone will say some brands will not get you anywhere in life and I say that’s your theory still to be proven. What I want is NOT what you want, what makes me happy is NOT what makes you happy. I always envy those people who have managed to build their own brand from scratch and it came out so good that you can’t even imitate.

I remember watching this police story on BTV on bullying and I couldn't stop shaking my head throughout the series because the guy was good. First you should have a dream and then deduce a plan on how to achieve that dream. So his dream was to go to jail, at least I think that was the bigger picture. You don’t just wake up today and go to jail, you have to work hard to achieve that. He decided to bully everyone in the village, from kids to elders. He got recognized everywhere because his brand stood out and he wouldn't pass by without anyone noticing that this guy is going places (to jail of course). He was that good! The question is, Are you that good?

Personal branding is basically selling someone your personality. You need to think hard about HOW you act. You should have a clearly identifiable personality so that people can easily feel like they know you personally, even if they've never met you.

Because your personal brand is built from the thoughts and words and reactions of other people, it’s shaped by how you present yourself publicly. This is something that you have control over. You can decide how you would like people to see you and then work on publicly being that image. Values are the easiest thing to present and have people identify with, so start there. Are you the sort of person who puts ethics above everything else?

Every good brand involves the notion of expertise.  Even if you’re not interested in marketing your advice, you need to create the perception that you are very good at what you do. You need to be an active force in your field. You need to be changing, innovating, and making a significant contribution to your field at all times or else your brand will die out over time.

Be good at what you do so people don’t have to guess if that could be you or not. Stand out from the crowd and show the whole world the true YOU. Be passionate about your brand and let it last a lifetime.

It’s not pride – it’s self-respect!

Here are bits and pieces from different articles I read this month to inspire you. Hope you enjoy!

“If people want something to be wrong about you— they are going to make things wrong about you. That is why it is my belief to never try and prove anything to anyone. Real diamonds belong to people who know how to spot a real diamond; they don’t belong to people who need to be convinced that they are real diamonds. It’s the idiots who need to be convinced of something that they cannot already see.” - C. JoyBell C

You were born to be real, not to be perfect.  You’re here to be YOU, not to be what someone else wants you to be.  Stand up for yourself, look them in the eye, and say, “Don’t judge me until you know me, don’t underestimate me until you challenge me, and don’t talk about me until you've talked to me.”

Rest assured – happy people are not immune to hard days, heartbreak, or feeling like a fool!  The difference is they turn frustrations into fuel and rebuild from the pebbles they discovered after hitting rock bottom.

When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation.  Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do.  Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you.  It’s not pride – it’s self-respect.  Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people.  Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life.  Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Many times people can sense when someone is insecure. They see it from the way you walk, sit or interact with others. You slump. Your head hangs down. Your arms lay tightly crossed, fists clenched. Eyes wander. Voice low.

Confidence does not come from a number on the scale, attention from the opposite sex or Instagram likes. All of those things can only create a temporary feeling. Ultimately, you are left with your thoughts, so learn to make them positive.

Follow your heart, and take your brain with you.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit. Knowing what you want in life and going for it, is not Pride but Knowing your worth.

Do you:

1.    Settle for less than you deserve?

2.    Chase love that isn’t yours?

3.    Make someone your priority while you’re their option?

4.    Care more what others think of you than you think about yourself?

5.    Spend time with people who can’t commit or are already in a relationship?

6.    Think that “I’m not enough.”

7.    Put your life on hold because you’re waiting to see what the other person will do?

8.    Go along with your partner whims instead of expressing what you’d like?

9.  Seek love, appreciation and approval from your partner instead of finding them within?

10. Rationalize your partner’s bad behaviour even though it hurts you?

11. Manipulate or control your partner?

12. Let your partner’s words and actions determine your mood?

If “yes” or “sometimes” are your answers to any of the questions above, other people and external circumstances are determining your worth.