Change your story!

Life can be cruel at times. You can get the hardest slap across your face that would send you down on your bottom. When this happens we react differently, some lie there and cry their heart out, cursing everyone and everything and even the day they were born. You ask yourself "Why me?", why not you?.

And then we have the fearless ones, those who no matter how painful and hard the slap they will stand up and face the challenge again. They remind me of the school fights back then. Those who got slapped and will stand up, face you and say "You wont slap me again". They got slapped again and would still get back up and say "Not again".I think these type of people life get tired of hitting them and at the end they win, not sure though.

When life knocks you down, you have a difficult choice to make. You can cry and tell people how unfortunate you are, some will pity you of course, some will laugh, but eventually people will get used to the story and get tired of the same story. People are always looking for a new story, whether positive or negative, we want to hear and see something different for a change. Yes we get tired, the story no longer becomes interesting. When are you going to change your story?

We have a few who will face the challenge, not necessarily head on, but will train, will learn the tactics, will create a team of like minded who can help them face the fight. They equip themselves and get ready for the second round. And how do they get ready? They ask God for strength, they read books, they ask experienced people. They dream and nurture their dreams such that they are bigger than their fears. These people have a story that is known by everyone. They have been slapped. Some people are laughing at them, those who love them feel sorry for them, they pity them. But they are determined to change that story.

When you decide to change your story, other people will stand up and help you rewrite your story. Do you have the burning desire to re-write your life story. How much are you willing to sacrifice to reach for your dreams. What story are you going to write? Are you going to repeat the same story all over again or are you willing to write a new one, close that chapter and write a good one. Are you going to stay a victim or you want to be seen as a survivor, as a hero despite the circumstances you encountered. Its only a matter of choice, you change the way you see yourself and you tell yourself everyday that you are better than yesterday and tomorrow you will be better than today.

Dont look for people`s approval, the world would tell you you cant do it, that you are not good enough, that you dont have the skills or experience. All these will echo on your head until you believe them. But you can choose to ignore the world and believe in yourself. Do what resonates with you trusting, hoping and having faith on your creator that He wont let you go this far to forsake you. Its only after you have travelled this world, you have set down with different people that you will understand that what you are going through is nothing compared to the next person. That's when you will learn to appreciate the little things that you have.

Only a few if not none will support you during the process, but everyone is watching. Some cant wait to tell you "We told you, you cant do this", some cant wait to congratulate you when you are successful. That's just life! We have to live it anyway. Change your story. Its never too late.

How are you raising your kids?

"Good parenting is not about how to create little prodigies, but rather its how to help our children live their lives to the best of their abilities." unknown

Overprotected kids feel safe and comfortable because they don't have to face any fears. It feels wonderful to a kid and as parents we are proud we are doing great for our kids, but only for a while. Why do our kids feel entitled to everything? What generation are we raising? Are we really proud of ourselves with what our kids become?

It pains my heart at times when I look around and find parents deep in debts, to an extent of committing suicide just because they can't provide for their kids` "wants". We are living in a culture saturated with things. Our kids constantly want more and more and if we don't provide we are labelled, "This b**** is refusing to buy me a new dress, but Fifi`s mother bought her a nice dress", on facebook. Whats up with all the entitlement? Will we rather be labelled than go out of our boundaries to please our kids?. Do we understand the life these kids are going into where almost every door has "NO"?. Are we preparing them for the pain, disappointment they are going to face? If we don`t train them now, we are just heading for disaster. 

The other day my son asked me for P2 to go to school with. I asked him, "Why do you need P2?", "I want to buy chips, other kids are buying chips at break time", I looked at him and said, "Kids are not supposed to carry money to school, the reason they are buying chips is because they didn't have breakfast, if you are that concerned why don`t you take your breakfast to share with them so they don`t go to school hungry, that way they wont have to buy chips". We need to make them understand they can't have anything they want. And I remembered that this was the same principle my mum used on us. Beginning of each term she would buy each one of us a packet of sweets to sell and tell us the profits will be our pocket money and we should have enough to buy a new packet at the end of the week. At first we will eat all the sweets without selling, hoping she will buy or feel sorry for us and give us pocket money anyway. Not with my mother, she won't give you anything, until we understood that we really had to work hard to have the things we wanted. She provided for our needs not our wants.

Those who grew up with both their parents protected and given everything they needed are the same ones who would ask "Whats the goverment going to do with the poverty in my family?", "Whats the council going to do with the rubbish I threw on a public area?" And its a pity they outnumber those who understand that if you find rubbish where its not supposed to be you have to pick it up because your mother wont do it for you and neither is your father. In fact you will have to answer for leaving it there.

One thing I learnt and appreciate from my mother was to reward Hardwork . Every school term you were supposed to tell her which position in class you were aiming for, which grades you were going to get. When you achieve that she will do anything you want for you and she kept her promises. I remember when we wanted a TV, she said "If you all pass and do the household chores without my supervision, I will buy the TV". We managed each other, we supported each other throughout that term and when the results came out, we even chose where we were going to sit because we knew the TV was coming. Are you raising a Confident kid or an arrogant kid? Next blog post.....

The power of vision!

I am this type of person who believes I could find a solution to any problem or challenge that come my way. I might not know how or where to look to at that particular moment but I know it will come and in most cases I wouldn`t have to spend sleepless nights over it. I believed I was just born lucky and my affirmation "God will provide, or God will show me how"always worked wonders. Until I read a book which put everything on perspective.

I have come to a point in my life where I don`t question anything that happens in my life. I might not know what brings about satisfaction in your life but to me having "Peace of Mind" is the most fulfilling feeling ever. And how do you get these feelings;

                                                               mental and emotional calmness

                                                               happiness and freedom

                                                               no worries;

when the world we live in presents; pain and sorrow, heartbreaks, untrustworthy loved ones, no jobs, all disheartening events to name a few. All you need is to find your purpose and have a vision.

Let me be spiritual for a bit now; You see when God created this world, He had a vision, just like a builder building a house will have a sketch of how it should look like before they even start building. Everything was clear to God and He keeps on amending and making new developments to His creation. The world is never coming to an end, that we can bet on. God didn`t save you or me to go to Heaven, No! We are saved to finish our assignments on earth.

You might have come as a surprise to your parents but not to God. He knew when and where He will need you to carry out His assignment. You were born at the right time and place and your purpose has already been finished in the spiritual world, all you need to do is fulfill it on earth. You can have all the riches on this earth, or be the poorest person alive but you will never be satisfied or happy until you fulfill your purpose. You see being rich and being poor are both hobbies chosen by different people, its all in the mindset, buts that`s a topic for another day. Your purpose will come to you as a vision.

Where do you get your vision, and How do you know your purpose?

What I have realised is that, we will enjoy the earthly things, do this, do that and when you have consumed everything or I say tried all, you still find yourself unhappy then you turn to God to give you your purpose. "Your purpose is already there!", (excuse me for shouting) but it has been there even before your were born. We then do all sorts of things to find something that is within us. You go to church to have a prophesy. Sorry to say this but I have never heard anyone saying their prophesy was a lie, these men and women of God have that interesting capabilities of looking into your life and thoughts. They are not looking into your future but giving you hope for the future and making you reflect on your life and thoughts. Some we check-in at sangomas, traditional doctors, pyschics e.t.c

All you need is to look deep into your soul, take time by yourself and do some self-introspection, find who you are and become friends with your thoughts. Can you hear that cry? That burning desire to achieve something, Those thoughts that keep coming back to you year in, year out. Those constant reminders of what you should do? Then dont look any further, God will guide you and bring the right helpers and get rid of the obstacles. Put your trust on Him and He will do miracles.