"Good parenting is not about how to create little prodigies, but rather its how to help our children live their lives to the best of their abilities." unknown
Overprotected kids feel safe and comfortable because they don't have to face any fears. It feels wonderful to a kid and as parents we are proud we are doing great for our kids, but only for a while. Why do our kids feel entitled to everything? What generation are we raising? Are we really proud of ourselves with what our kids become?
It pains my heart at times when I look around and find parents deep in debts, to an extent of committing suicide just because they can't provide for their kids` "wants". We are living in a culture saturated with things. Our kids constantly want more and more and if we don't provide we are labelled, "This b**** is refusing to buy me a new dress, but Fifi`s mother bought her a nice dress", on facebook. Whats up with all the entitlement? Will we rather be labelled than go out of our boundaries to please our kids?. Do we understand the life these kids are going into where almost every door has "NO"?. Are we preparing them for the pain, disappointment they are going to face? If we don`t train them now, we are just heading for disaster.
The other day my son asked me for P2 to go to school with. I asked him, "Why do you need P2?", "I want to buy chips, other kids are buying chips at break time", I looked at him and said, "Kids are not supposed to carry money to school, the reason they are buying chips is because they didn't have breakfast, if you are that concerned why don`t you take your breakfast to share with them so they don`t go to school hungry, that way they wont have to buy chips". We need to make them understand they can't have anything they want. And I remembered that this was the same principle my mum used on us. Beginning of each term she would buy each one of us a packet of sweets to sell and tell us the profits will be our pocket money and we should have enough to buy a new packet at the end of the week. At first we will eat all the sweets without selling, hoping she will buy or feel sorry for us and give us pocket money anyway. Not with my mother, she won't give you anything, until we understood that we really had to work hard to have the things we wanted. She provided for our needs not our wants.
Those who grew up with both their parents protected and given everything they needed are the same ones who would ask "Whats the goverment going to do with the poverty in my family?", "Whats the council going to do with the rubbish I threw on a public area?" And its a pity they outnumber those who understand that if you find rubbish where its not supposed to be you have to pick it up because your mother wont do it for you and neither is your father. In fact you will have to answer for leaving it there.
One thing I learnt and appreciate from my mother was to reward Hardwork . Every school term you were supposed to tell her which position in class you were aiming for, which grades you were going to get. When you achieve that she will do anything you want for you and she kept her promises. I remember when we wanted a TV, she said "If you all pass and do the household chores without my supervision, I will buy the TV". We managed each other, we supported each other throughout that term and when the results came out, we even chose where we were going to sit because we knew the TV was coming. Are you raising a Confident kid or an arrogant kid? Next blog post.....
