My coach always say "Every milestone in your life will require the new version of yourself," and these thought provoking words have shaped my life in a way I never imagined. I have seen myself become a better version of myself growing through this life to a point where I literally enjoy my today and get excited about my tomorrow.
Looking back at my life, there is nothing I regret and nothing I wish I could have changed because I have always been intentional about what I wanted out of life. I realized that every part of my life needed a different personality and character in order to preserve my values, my aspirations and my principles. These were the only constant and concrete characteristics of who I am. One thing I appreciate now about my life (which I didn't back then) was being exposed to the real world at a tender age. My brother and I had a sudden change in our lives at an age which I believe to be critical. For the first time in our lives we had to live with strangers in a crowded place with few resources and more freedom. I was used to my mother planning every aspect of my life, when to wake up, when to go to bed, what to wear, what to eat, when to study. I remember when we were out playing unless my mother send someone to come call us we wouldn't go back home no matter the time.
All of a sudden I am in a new environment, different values, different principles, different people, it was like a new chapter was opened. I then realized this chapter of my life require a different person who has strong values, who knew what they wanted and a good decision maker. I had to grow and this was a forceful growth which I was not ready for and I had to be intentional about it. I had to think of who I wanted to be, how I wanted to behave, my relations with other people, the kind of friends I wanted to have. Being intentional means knowing exactly what you are going to do, things to avoid and its like a plan of your daily actions. One thing I realized about this was as much as you want to be thorough in this planning, there are things you will not cater for, because you didn't think they were important or you thought they were unlikely to happen, and these are the things that will knock you down, make you unsettled on your actions and I have experienced all these. When all these happen, you are forced to change, change strategy, change plans, change the way of thinking, unlearn and relearn new things, discard some of the behaviors and become a different person though not changing who you are, your values and your principles.
Many people are stuck in the idea of "No one is going to change me, they found me like this," and when you look at what they are not willing to change is just some behaviors, some way of thinking, some plans which are not working, and not necessarily who they are or their values. You keep doing the same things and expect different outcomes, not so possible. Many times we need to introspect and wonder if we are GROWING through life or we are just GOING through life. The transformation in your life should be exciting that you cant wait for tomorrow because you want to see how things will unfold, how you are going to use the learned things in the next challenging circumstances. You have to trust that you are more knowledgeable than yesterday, more strong, more honest, more resilient than before and that anything life throws at you, you are ready and already excited. Don`t be too excited when someone says "You haven't changed a bit", unless its physical appearance.
