Do you stand out? (What brand are you?)

 When you know what you want in life and you are willing to work hard to achieve that then you can`t live a free life as you wish. You just can’t, period!

The way you talk, walk, eat, laugh, sneeze, sing, smile, dress,  greet other people, respond to conversations are determined by what you want to achieve, they don’t just happen haphazardly. In our everyday life we are working on creating a brand that can stand out, a brand that we are comfortable in and it starts with knowing what you want and knowing your worth. There is nothing like a bad brand but rather we associate ourselves with different brands due to our different tastes. It’s funny how brands that we don’t associate with always stand out and we are able to recognize but we find it hard to recognize those we think are good for us. A bully who terrorizes the whole village will be known by all and recognized but that faithful woman who takes care of her family won`t be recognized, who cares anyway!

Don’t you think those two people have put equal efforts on creating those brands, for it takes determination, handwork, and persistence to become what you really want to be? Someone will say some brands will not get you anywhere in life and I say that’s your theory still to be proven. What I want is NOT what you want, what makes me happy is NOT what makes you happy. I always envy those people who have managed to build their own brand from scratch and it came out so good that you can’t even imitate.

I remember watching this police story on BTV on bullying and I couldn't stop shaking my head throughout the series because the guy was good. First you should have a dream and then deduce a plan on how to achieve that dream. So his dream was to go to jail, at least I think that was the bigger picture. You don’t just wake up today and go to jail, you have to work hard to achieve that. He decided to bully everyone in the village, from kids to elders. He got recognized everywhere because his brand stood out and he wouldn't pass by without anyone noticing that this guy is going places (to jail of course). He was that good! The question is, Are you that good?

Personal branding is basically selling someone your personality. You need to think hard about HOW you act. You should have a clearly identifiable personality so that people can easily feel like they know you personally, even if they've never met you.

Because your personal brand is built from the thoughts and words and reactions of other people, it’s shaped by how you present yourself publicly. This is something that you have control over. You can decide how you would like people to see you and then work on publicly being that image. Values are the easiest thing to present and have people identify with, so start there. Are you the sort of person who puts ethics above everything else?

Every good brand involves the notion of expertise.  Even if you’re not interested in marketing your advice, you need to create the perception that you are very good at what you do. You need to be an active force in your field. You need to be changing, innovating, and making a significant contribution to your field at all times or else your brand will die out over time.

Be good at what you do so people don’t have to guess if that could be you or not. Stand out from the crowd and show the whole world the true YOU. Be passionate about your brand and let it last a lifetime.

It’s not pride – it’s self-respect!

Here are bits and pieces from different articles I read this month to inspire you. Hope you enjoy!

“If people want something to be wrong about you— they are going to make things wrong about you. That is why it is my belief to never try and prove anything to anyone. Real diamonds belong to people who know how to spot a real diamond; they don’t belong to people who need to be convinced that they are real diamonds. It’s the idiots who need to be convinced of something that they cannot already see.” - C. JoyBell C

You were born to be real, not to be perfect.  You’re here to be YOU, not to be what someone else wants you to be.  Stand up for yourself, look them in the eye, and say, “Don’t judge me until you know me, don’t underestimate me until you challenge me, and don’t talk about me until you've talked to me.”

Rest assured – happy people are not immune to hard days, heartbreak, or feeling like a fool!  The difference is they turn frustrations into fuel and rebuild from the pebbles they discovered after hitting rock bottom.

When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation.  Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do.  Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you.  It’s not pride – it’s self-respect.  Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life if you surround yourself with negative people.  Don’t give part-time people a full-time position in your life.  Know your value and what you have to offer, and never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Many times people can sense when someone is insecure. They see it from the way you walk, sit or interact with others. You slump. Your head hangs down. Your arms lay tightly crossed, fists clenched. Eyes wander. Voice low.

Confidence does not come from a number on the scale, attention from the opposite sex or Instagram likes. All of those things can only create a temporary feeling. Ultimately, you are left with your thoughts, so learn to make them positive.

Follow your heart, and take your brain with you.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit. Knowing what you want in life and going for it, is not Pride but Knowing your worth.

Do you:

1.    Settle for less than you deserve?

2.    Chase love that isn’t yours?

3.    Make someone your priority while you’re their option?

4.    Care more what others think of you than you think about yourself?

5.    Spend time with people who can’t commit or are already in a relationship?

6.    Think that “I’m not enough.”

7.    Put your life on hold because you’re waiting to see what the other person will do?

8.    Go along with your partner whims instead of expressing what you’d like?

9.  Seek love, appreciation and approval from your partner instead of finding them within?

10. Rationalize your partner’s bad behaviour even though it hurts you?

11. Manipulate or control your partner?

12. Let your partner’s words and actions determine your mood?

If “yes” or “sometimes” are your answers to any of the questions above, other people and external circumstances are determining your worth.

Who is the "side chick"???

For a change I thought I should write about something that doesn't concern anyone and is not important, you get my point?

I have heard this name "side chick" many times and never understood what it meant. So I want to know from people out there what it really means and how to tell the difference between the "side chick" and "main chick", whatever that means also?

But of course I have my own opinion which is somewhat not true or right definition, but I am all ears to be convinced otherwise. If you are married this is not meant for you, but rather for us who have false confidence of promoting ourselves in a relationship without even discussing it with our partners.

Here is the scenario; you start dating this guy and all is cool first months, you don`t ask him about his other girlfriends, you don`t check his phone, you don`t inquire about his friends or his whereabouts, all is superb Until maybe he say something or show you something (I am still to find out what it is though). I call it promotion because now you start calling the shots, hehehehe Modemo! You all know what I am talking about but that`s not the point, you get my point?

The point here is how do you know you are not the side chick? What gives you the guts to call another woman a side chick? What promise were you given that was not given to that other woman? We all know these brothers are not loyal... they are still searching for that lady who can wear their wedding ring and before they make that choice, don`t we think we all stand a better chance? Where is fair competition, I think Competition Authority should look into this matter. "Stay away from my man", the common phrase, hee Batho! what man? whose man? come on guys.

Imagine if the same unfair competition was used when applying for a job. And those with the confidence that they will get the job start harassing those who also want to apply. I can already hear them saying "stay away from my job", and go to the extent of tearing up your application or even beating you up at the interview, ijoo!

You are only cheated on if you are married, otherwise just take a chill pill and relax and take care of yourself. Those battles are not meant for you. You are after all a side chick, period!, wait for the lawful and rightful promotion. We should be fighting against being treated as side chicks, instead of fighting other side chicks. That's so disrespectful to the female species and should be condemned....

Caution: Dont try this at home...

When love hurts!

“Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love: it is the faithless who know love's tragedies.” Oscar Wilde. I have no idea why I wrote this quote but just IGNORE it, its meaningless..

The scariest thing about falling in love is getting hurt. The scariest thing about getting hurt is not being able to love again. The scariest thing about not loving again is being alone.

To live is to risk dying; 

To hope is to risk failure. 

And to love is to risk rejection; 

But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is risking nothing. To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose true-self; to love is to risk not to be loved in return.

Yes, love does hurt. But that does not mean that you should withdraw into a shell. Find the courage to fight for your dignity and survival. Bandage your broken spirit. The best thing to do when you fall down is to dust yourself and get up once again. Shrug off that feeling of despondency, and chin up.

There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with. Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.

Sometimes the only way to know love is to experience what love is not. Whatever the question, challenge or decision, love is always the answer. God is perfect love, and His desire is for us to model His character. Healing from hurts moves us closer to love.

LOVE: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but keep the pain. Our journey here on earth  is to find our way back to unconditional self-love. I give respect to all those whose hearts have been stabbed on, trashed but still found the courage to love again. To those who are wounded right now, my heart beats for you and Remember; Time heals all wounds. You are smart, you are perfect, you are beautiful and lovable. Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.

Learn and keep moving.

Don`t You Quit!

Steve Jobs said being fired from Apple was the best thing that could have happened to him; "The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life." And he added, "I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful-tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it."

1.    Don’t be afraid to be alone

Along the journey you will be tested. You will go through the unexpected; you will lose those you love be it through death, through breakups. You will lose that job that has been putting food on the table. You will lose trust on some people and they will lose trust in you. They will sabotage every effort you make. They will call you names and shame you. When this happen what do you do? Who do you turn to? This will seem like end of your life if you don’t have a dream and focus. When you have a dream and passion you will not be afraid to be alone. Each one of us has their distinctive purpose in life and dream. You cannot rely on anyone to make you happy and to live your dream, so don’t expect to have someone holding your hand always. Our friends, family, spouses and other people in your life are there to support you, to give you direction and advice when needed and to encourage you but not to live your life and they will not always be by your side. Know that the time will come when you will have to face this world on your own, make your own memories and experiences; to conquer your fears and focus on your dream to make it real.

2.    Be willing to trade off.

Many things will stand on your way to achieve your goals. Those excuses you make every day, if it wasn’t for this, I would have achieved that. Learn to priorities everything in your life. What is more important in your life? How much value does each aspect of your life add to your dream? Living your passion means not compromising, if your best friend is pulling you down instead of adding value to your life, trade off. If your job is standing on your way to achieve what you truly want, trade off. If your partner is of no profit to your life, draining you emotionally, physically, financially and in any way, don’t compromise; trade off.  There are always dream stealers out there. Don’t let them get the better of you. Be willing to trade off, and you can only be able to do that if you are not afraid to be alone.

3.       Fight the urge to give up.

When you know why, how will be automatic. When you know why, you will not quit. Be content with your why, because your why is your dream. Like this Poem says;

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.Life is queer with its twists and turns, As every one of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out; Don't give up though the pace seems slow-- You may succeed with another blow.Often the goal is nearer than, It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up, When he might have captured the victor's cup, And he learned too late when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown.Success is failure turned inside out-- The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far, So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-- It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.- Author unknown –

Its your Journey.

Be NOT afraid of growing slowly; be afraid ONLY of standing still.

When I look back at my life, I don`t regret any decision I ever made, I don`t regret any of my relationships, I don`t regret any of my friends, I appreciate all the challenges I went through, I am grateful for all the blessings that came my way, and I am SUPER excited to my future. YES my life was of a typical youth in Botswana and is still is. What is exciting about my life are the transformations that I go through everyday.

You ask me today, what Personal Development means and I will answer "Your willingness to invest on your individual self". Individual Self reflects a person`s subjective uniqueness such as traits and behaviors, hobbies and interests, aspirations and goals- that differentiate you from others. How much are you willing to invest, be it money or time on your spiritual realization, on your emotions, mental, physical and social aspect of your life. It all depends on your priorities in life, and if you want to grow as an individual, personal development should be at your forefront. One speaker at a seminar I attended last weekend compared a person on a journey of life- to a vehicle on the road. Every now and then the vehicle has to stop and fuel before continuing with the journey and same applies to us.

For you to reach your destination, every now and then you have to stop and fuel, that is, reflect on the journey, get advice, get some inspirations, recharge yourself and set another pace. I will pay the price, I will dedicate my time for my personal development. I word hard, I party hard, I lazy around more often, my life is so interesting that I cant afford to be on "Low Battery". It might be a slow, long journey but every moment is worth my time and my efforts. I was listening to this Pastor the other day preaching and his message was so powerful and I felt it was directed to me. I wanted to go upfront and shake his hand and say "You are on point Pastor", but was afraid He will say "Fire!" and I will fall to the ground. I am only not that type of risk-taker. His message had the following 3 points which I will explain on my next post. 

1. Don`t be afraid to be alone.

2. Be willing to trade off.

3. Fight the urge to give up.

Remember Its your journey. You are not going to walk on anyone`s shoes and no one wants yours either...

"You have the potential, but you are failing yourself."

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

There will come a time when nothing interests you. You wake up and you are in no mood to do anything yet you have so much to do. You feel nothing is interesting in life, you are not looking forward to going to work, you drag your feet to work after-all you have no choice but to show your face there. Yes! we all go through this most of the days if not everyday.. 

You look around you, you find someone who seems to have all the energy and time in the world, the type of person who is focused and disciplined and you wonder "...is this person on some kind of drugs or what? what keeps them so motivated, don't they ever have setbacks?". But the answer is Yes they also have their ups and downs. The only difference between them and you is that they know WHY they have to do what they do. They have a burning desire to succeed and can`t find any reason not to do it. They have placed a picture of their dreams in front of them and everyday when they look at it, it becomes more clearer and more enticing that they cant let go. They are passion-driven.

Ask yourself today and everyday WHY you have to wake up every morning, why you have to get to that job, why you have to meet those people, why you are in that relationship, why you eat the food that you eat, why you read that book, why you hang out with those friends. What do you really want to achieve? How will achieving that make you feel? Is it money that you want, is it happiness, is it power, is it peace of mind, is it fame? What is it that is burning you inside to accomplish? What is that first step you need to take to accomplish that? Have a clear vision and boldly take that first step because what matters is NOW and what you can do now. Be it talking to someone about your dream, researching on your dreams, asking God to give you strength to do it, writing it down and saying it loud. Do something about it and the more you do those little tasks towards achieving your goal, the more it becomes real and beautiful and before you know it you will be immensely motivated to move forward.

You have all the time in the world, trust me, that job doesnt take all your 24 hrs, that baby doesnt either, neither is that school. Right now at this moment, write down all you did yesterday at work and at home from 8am until the time you went to bed. Include even the time you took to finish each task. Assuming they were all important, calculate how many hours you took doing something. You have the potential, but you are failing yourself. You are your own dream wrecker!