Dear Grandma!

Dear Grandma

One thing you taught me was "forgiveness". You always said I should forgive to set my soul and mind free, to release all the pain captured in my heart and to be able to love again. And up to today I still feel the bitter pain in my heart, tears build up in my eyes but I have to push them back, I have to swallow the pain more sharp than a knife. At times it feels like I will explode....

Is it because I still have not forgiven you?? Tell me...But how am I suppose to forgive you when you are not even here to explain to me why? You made so many promises to me and I am here wondering if you forgot about them the day you decided to leave my side. You promised to be there for me whenever I needed you. You the one who told me study hard at school because you wanted to be the most beautiful grandma at the graduation ceremony, you said your ululations would be heard in Tonota from Gaborone, BUT YOU WERE NOT THERE...!

Do you remember the day you told your daughters that you dont want any more children because you were waiting for my first child, that you didnt want to be worn out by the time he/she comes?? heh, do you?? Well he is here now and WHERE ARE YOU? You couldn't even wait to see his handsome, innocent first smile. All I can imagine now is how happy you would have been to see him, and how it would have been great to raise your first great grand child.

We both made promises to each other and I intended to keep mine but you decided to leave, without a warning, without saying good bye. I am still angry but today I decided to let it go. At least now you know you betrayed me but I cant stay angry forever. You taught me a lot, those that I needed but didn't realize at the time, those that I needed but didn't want at that time. But I will forever be thankful for raising me into the woman I am today. You taught me what real life entails and how to be a woman of virtue.

Even though you were not there for so many milestones in my life, I believe you are still with me, guiding me for your wisdom will forever remain in my heart. You were a small, tiny woman with a big, golden heart. May your soul rest in peace and find eternal life.

Your Granddaughter

Tsaone