You know the truth; Dont play Victim

This post was inspired by a conversation I had with friends and is dedicated to all women out there. Those who have watched the movie or read a book "Think like a man.........." will relate to this post. More often women are found crying over a cheating boyfriend or husband or maybe just neglect from the partner. Or even worse they complain that the man is not popping out the question but they have been together for too long, or the boyfriend doesn't want kids. What is more painful about this is the FACT that all women know the answers to all these questions.

Does playing victim show the feminine part of us or what? I am no exception and you my friend is neither. Its planted on our DNA to bear all the pain. Just because a woman is prepared for the most challenging and painful experience of child bearing doesn't mean even in life they should be looking for challenging and painful relationships to show their strength. We already know how strong you can be, how much you could cry through the pain without giving up. Most of us have gone through those phases, some of us are still going through it and some of us are going to find ourselves in the same situation sooner or later. It doesn't matter really, that`s what makes life interesting.

In a relationship, a man and woman are different and its important to know the differences to spare ourselves from pain and disappointments and here are the 3 most important differences;

1. A man knows what he wants out of each relationship WHEREAS a woman just go with the flow.

    maybe this is because men are the one who proposes and they choose looking at what they want and women have to wait and see if they will like whoever proposes. 

2. Men listen but don't see WHEREAS women see but don't listen.

Ladies don't think that if you cook or clean for him, that will hint that you want to get married. He doesn't even notice you are doing those. Its not about what you do but how he perceive you. If in some of your conversations he say "You are not marriage material, Who is going to marry you?", he means it, listen to him. But most of the time women won't even hear those remarks. Who listens to that silly stuff anyway, its just a joke. Yes it will be a joke until he chooses the one fitting his description of marriage material.

3. Men act but dont talk WHEREAS women talk but don't act.

They say actions speak louder than words. A man doesn't have to tell a woman how much he loves, cares for her. It shows from his behaviour, his smile and his conversations. You don't have to search for it, but women will want a man to talk about this love, they want him to say it, force words out of his mouth. You are doing this because you see he doesn't love you but you want to feel better about yourself.

A month is more than enough for a man to decide whether you are a KEEPER or a FISH. Your tears won't change his mind. You know the truth, so don't play victim.

What are you willing to give up?

What are you willing to give up?

Do you consider yourself successful? Are you where you wanted to be? Are you happy? Do you enjoy life? If you find that you never ask yourself these questions, pinch yourself to check if you really are alive, maybe you are just a moving corpse…

Success to me is achieving that specific goal you planned to do. It’s the feeling of happiness that comes from excelling. To me it doesn't matter how big or small the goal is but the ability to achieve that goal. Many of us in this country have lived our lives without setting any goals. We were given a manual of life and we followed it every step. Those we see as successful are those who followed every bit of this manual. What does this manual say??

1. 1.       Go to school PSLEàJCàBGCSEàTertiary
2. 2.       Find a job
3. 3.       Get married
4. 4.       Have kids and a family
5. 5.       Look for business to start  (retirement is approaching)

Did you set a goal and say you want to study and get your degree in 16 years? No! You were forced to, and 16 years is the normal duration for a Degree. Did you set a goal and say, I want a job as this earning this amount per month? No! you had to find a job, what else could you have done, because this manual does not provide alternatives, it was time to find a job and any job which you qualified for was OK. You are going from one stage to another just like Baby-Teenager-Adult-Die. This is a manual we are not willing to give up, what more options do we have anyway?

Where are those dreams you had as a child? Did you just throw them out through the window just because the system was not favorable enough for you?  Did you just forget about them just because you are comfortable where you are today? Remember being comfortable doesn't mean you are happy, it just mean you are not willing to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself. It means you don’t know what you are capable of and you are not willing to try and see. It means you don’t believe in your dreams and you don’t trust yourself. Too many of us are afraid to be ourselves; we give up our dreams to follow the crowd. Understand that you are the MASTER of your FATE and the CAPTAIN of your SOUL. WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO GIVE UP?

Roller-coaster that is...Parenthood

Does everyone go through these emotions or some of us are just singled out????

The moment they say "You are going to be a Mother or Father", your world starts changing before you. You are filled with emotions you can't even explain. Some are scared and thinking "Oh my God!, what have I done! Am I really ready for this?". Some are frustrated and disappointed and keep on asking God to wake them up from this terrible dream, "This can't be happening NO, NO, Please No...". Some are so over the moon, so happy! and can't wait to hold that bundle of joy on their hands. Until the bundle of joy turn into a LITTLE RASCAL..

Raising a child is not like building a business where you have to read as many books, attend workshops, build a strong network and master your strategy, well all those doesn't work here. No one is ever prepared or ready. Parenthood chooses you and we are always caught off guard. It's not a question of choice. It changes the way you think about yourself, your family, your friends, and the world at large. It changes the way you look at life, the way you reflect, and the way you act and react. It teaches you to examine things you never gave a second thought to before delivery, and to question the things you always thought were right and true. But the best thing is it brings the best out of you.

Everything involving children is painful in some way, from the moment you conceive, through birth, to keeping you awake in the middle of the night crying, falling sick, falling while trying to walk or stand, destroying everything in the house they come across, eating what they are not supposed to eat, from your simcards to soap and just anything. And as they grow you think you are done with that and now you going to enjoy life, ha! ha! believe me, that previous phase was just nothing, now you are into real parenting. The emotions, whether they are joy, sorrow, love or pride, are so deep and sharp that in the end they leave you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represent just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.

The beauty of having children is that, there is never a dull moment at home, it doesn't matter how old they are, 5 years, 15 years, 25 years, 35 years or 45 years, its just drama after drama, laughter after laughter, sorrow after sorrow and just a ROLLER-COASTER OF EMOTIONS. It is a beautiful ride, a wild ride, and the most incredible journey you will ever take.

I Just Got Paid Syndrome

FINALLY! Payday has arrived, and you can feel your body quiver in anticipation (that may be the wallet you are sitting on). As that message beep on your mobile phone, your brain is casually deciding what you are going to buy first, your stomach sinks through the floor, through the Earth and somewhere far into Las Vegas. That paycheck you've been longing for?

I wonder how you feel on payday. Are you happy? Excited? Relieved? Indifferent? I know people will assume the next person feels the same way as they are feeling but I doubt that’s the case. Came across an article which talked about how people feel on payday and I am going to quote it as is;

“Let’s take a look at some of the feelings that I think people probably feel when it is payday for them.

WOO! It’s Payday! (Happy/Excited)

I think there is a large group of people that are happy when it is payday. Why are they happy? Some are happy that their bank balance increased because they paid themselves first. Others are happy because they now have money in their checking account to go spend on the hottest gadget of the month.

Relieved It Is Finally Payday… PHEW!

I’d say there is a smaller group that is relieved that it is payday. Actually, the more I think about it the more I think this group is larger than I’d hope. My bet would be that this group barely stretched their budget to make it to the next payday. More likely this group is relieved because they finally have some money in the bank account again to pay a debt collector or past due bill. 

Meh… It’s Payday (Indifference)

At this point I have no clue how many people feel indifferent about payday. Why would people feel indifferent? They might not have to worry about bills because they have a full emergency fund and some extra slack in their bank account to cover an extra month of budget.

Others might feel indifferent because they simply just don’t care about money at all. These people are either doing well for themselves and have a secure financial picture or they just don’t care at all.

Then, of course, there are the people who feel indifferent because they don’t even realize it is payday. Again, these people are likely oblivious or are financially secure.”

Payday does affect one’s behavior and it leads to many bad things we only take for granted. Will only mention a few and hope I wouldn't have to explain anything since its common sense (whatever that means)

1. 1.    I don’t understand why suddenly people have a great appetite, this appetite can’t be satisfied at home, No, eating out and the meals in front of them you won’t see them from the other side.
2. 2.      High mortality rate due to some consumption which may lead to dangerous behavior.
3. 3.  Every car on the road resulting in traffic and accidents. (it’s hard to get in a traffic accident if you can’t afford to leave the house)

As I said just to mention a few, I could go on but you know I like to keep my posts as short as possible not that I have nothing to write but……………

Paycheck to Paycheck Cycle

I wonder who will relate with this one, but I am definitely sure many.....

1. Days before Payday: Broke mode

The last time you looked at your account balance, oh not look but thought about your account, it just turned your face sour. Imagine this scenario, You are walking down the road and someone dropped their wallet, as broke as you were you pretended to turn a blind eye. As soon as they were in no sight you rushed to pick up the wallet and what you saw was..

and I wonder how thieves really feel when this happens after their hard work and putting their lives at risk.. This mode can be best described as the unhappy mode, you can tell from the way a person walks (you walk facing down, you are too ashamed to look at the world), the way they dress (its like something bad happened to your wardrobe, you got robbed and people had to donate clothes for you and they don`t seem to go well together) and even their face (suddenly pimples are harassing you). You send out call backs but you get no response and you start telling yourself, "Oh, this is how they operate, they don`t call when I am down, just wait until I get paid, I will show them who I am". Hey, you are not the only one who is broke, so give people a break.

2.  A few hours before payday: Anxious Mode

You know today is the day, you are anxious, restless, all these emotions fill up your mind. And then "what ifs" start to take over, What if we don`t get paid today? You know for sure you will collapse....Your phone beeps and excited you pick it up with a smile and there is a promotional message from Mascom or Orange, hahahaha! Back to that anxious face again, you start pacing around the office, you forget what you being paid for. After a long, energy consuming wait, you get paid and Yipee!.......

This brings an interesting, dangerous mode which I will explain in the next post called "I just got paid"!

5 Tips to Success.

I am not a speaker nor a motivator. Not even a counselor or anything of that sort but just a mere writer. Writing is what I love  and what I enjoy doing. Our weaknesses in life open doors of opportunity for us.

I am naturally a quite person, shy to the bone. I speak when spoken to and don`t talk a lot. As an entrepreneur, these qualities are your weaknesses. Through these weaknesses I realized an opportunity. There was an urge to share my views with people , to express how I feel in a more sensible way. Some of us do that by singing, some through poetry, some by dancing, some by dressing up, some through painting, some through cooking,  and I had to Write. 

You want to be successful in life?  Here are the 5 tips you won`t go wrong with.!

1. Let us not try to be "Jack of all trades, master of none". Realize your "calling" and perfect it to the best of your abilities. Your calling should be something you are passionate about, something that gives you joy, something you can do without being paid, something that no matter how busy your day is, you always find time to do.

2. Keep a notebook with you at all times. If you wake up at 3 a.m. with a brilliant idea, write it down. A blank notebook becomes a suggestion box for your brain, opening you up to new ideas.

3. Realize failures bring about success. Risk is all about trying, getting in the game. You can't succeed if you aren't in the game.

4. Have confidence. Decide you are confident and have a more playful, less serious attitude about life. What`s with being uptight? 

5. Get your priorities straight. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, to your community and to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning. 

Let yourself experience emotion. Know what love, grief and pain are. And above all be yourself!

Message to you!

Hello once again and Welcome back!

 

God has given us yet another year to fulfil our purpose on this earth. We are all writing our own books of life and we better ask ourselves if we are writing a masterpiece or just a book full of crap. One thing I learned with aging is “to live with no regrets”. I have failed many times and have succeeded more times than I have failed, because my failures were never my setback but my motivation to work even harder and focus more. I have cried my eyes out and always remembered my hands to wipe away the tears and smile again. My heart has been broken before but I always managed to find the scattered pieces, pick them up, make it whole and be able to love again wholeheartedly.

No matter what happens in your life, always see the better side, as they say, “There is always light at the end of the dark tunnel”. When night falls, we know there would be light in the morning. Every night before you go to bed ask yourself if you are ready for tomorrow because if you are not, it will be a waste to even ask God to wake you up in the morning. Ask not anyone but successful people what the key to success is, and they will tell you “Preparation”, anyone else will say “Money”, #always thinking the end results and never the process#. Every morning when you wake up, smile, because that’s a blessing in itself. As you step out of your house, smile and say, “World, here I come”, because you are stepping out into opportunities, beautiful, endless opportunities which await you to tap into.

Now my new year`s message is: This is our year, a year to stop complaining and start solving problems; A year to stop depending on the government but the government to depend on us. Make your mark visible and do the best you can. We are raising a generation of go-getters, a generation which is talented, smarter, intelligent and innovative. So believe in yourself and in your dreams. Remember You are Extraordinary and unique. Dream Big and Bigger and Bigger....

To men: Be as gentle and responsible.

To Ladies: Know your worth, Be a woman of virtue.

Compliments of the new season to all of you.!!!!